Free Your Mind & The Rest Will Follow

The Alluring Violet loves, loves, love-zz giving you tips on how to have better sex and more of it. We want you to live a fruitful, healthy sex life and really tap into your sexual potential. To truly reach your sexual pinnacle you need to expand the number of ways in which you give and receive pleasure. If you’re not fully exploring your full body, you are missing out.

Anal play is a great way to intensify pleasure and add to your overall sexual experiences. Maybe you’ve wanted to try it but considered it taboo… or were afraid of what it entails? When you do finally decide to delve into the world of anal play, we are here for you.

We know ass-play can be intimidating to a newbie. And as with any new experience, you need to know how to prepare. Let us give you some suggestions so you noobs get it right and have the time if your life. So, without further ado, here are our best tips for booty play for novices…

Tip #1: Free Your Mind

Of the bat, no, it’s not just for gay people. Penetration from behind has nothing to do with your sexual preference. The nerve endings around the anus are the same whether you’re gay, straight, male, female, bi or any other sexual identity. The truth of the matter is that any man or woman, regardless of their sexual preferences, can enjoy anal sex. So, forget the misconceptions and myths.

Tip #2: Prepare, Pre Play Planning

You want everything in perfect order and in tip-top shape prior to engaging in anal. We all know what happens there… let’s make sure it stays there. To save both of you from embarrassment, make sure your bowel is empty and the anal area is clean. Using a water enema is common practice. A bath beforehand will also ensure that your starfish is clean and will make for a more pleasurable and relaxing all-round experience.

With anal, there is a bigger chance of bacteria being present, but there’s also the risk of STIs. To reduce the likelihood of transferring infection, always use a condom. We also highly advise against indulging in vaginal penetration after anal or using the same toy in the vagina that you used in the butt unless you use a condom then remove it before moving onto the vagina.

Tip 3: Get Some Lube

The anus doesn’t make its own slippery goodness like the vagina. So you’ll need to improvise. Get good water based lube. We suggest H2O based lube because, remember, oil-based lubes can degrade latex. Lube makes everything feel better and much safer. Even if your play doesn’t include penetration, lube makes everything better and can make sensitive areas well, more sensitive. Put lube both inside and outside and on whatever toy you’re using. Things can get messy, consider putting a towel down.

Tip 4: Get In The Mood

The most important thing is to be turned on and relaxed. Don’t forget the cheeks- a butt massage can stoke those fires and get you or your partner in the mood. So, use that lube to give your partner a gluteal massage. If you’re a noob, it’s important that you calm your nerves. You have to relax- don’t tense up and don’t rush it… hard and fast is for porn. Start gently… if you don’t like it stop. Be very upfront about what you like or don’t like out back.
Do some foreplay, rimming (aka rim job, anilingus aka Tossing Salad and so on) is oral-anal contact using the tongue and can be highly erotic and a way to get comfortable with this area. Again… safety first… use a dental dam or cutting open a condom and using the lubricated side against the rimming receiver.

Start Small and Slow. Going straight from never having the thing up there to a fully erect penis inside might be daring but not the best idea. Anal fingering (yours or your partners) is a great way to get your anus used to being touched, it helps get you used to the new sensations and to identify what feels good and what you don’t like.

Tip 5: Get a Good Toy

Using sex toys during anal is a great way to intensify the pleasure and add to the overall experience. But, you don’t have to have a partner to enjoy anal sex. You can get some amazing solo-play in. Solo play is also a vital tool in training yourself in anal penetration. The more your body gets used to it, the more relaxed you’re going to be when it comes to enjoying the experience with someone else.

With or without a partner, use an anal toy to stimulate the sensitive nerve endings in the anus by using a vibrating toy around the opening— but don’t insert it. Instead, swirl it around at the and enjoy the new sensations. When you’re next level ready, start with a small plug and work your way up.


*Make sure the toy you purchase is small, safe and has a flange to keep the toy from getting lost up there.



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