Managing The Distance
More and more relationships are being faced with the challenge of an increasingly geographically diffuse job market. These days when job opportunities are limited, professionals pursuing a career are often tempted to relocate. When opportunity comes knocking, it often forces the dilemma of one person having to move for a job, and the other person either has to stay put or go with him or her. Not to mention military deployment where the option of choice is off of the table.
So, you just got a promotion and were offered a job in a new city or found out that your sweetheart just got a job offer out of the country or on the opposite coast? You may find yourself asking what does that mean for us? Don’t panic and despair not, a long distance relationship with your significant other isn’t impossible and can work on every level.
While physical and emotional distance can be a strain, and can test your relationship, luckily, it’s not all bad news. Your relationship quality doesn’t have to suffer and can even grow and get better. Think about it like this… when you don’t have the luxury of time and closeness you’ll both savor every moment together just that much more. You will tend to have more meaningful conversations with more effective communication, which in turn heightens intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
A recent study from Cornell University found that couples in long-distance relationships feel more intimate with their partners, were more accepting of their partners’ behaviors and felt more committed to each other than geographically close couples. Couples experiencing LDR’s value what little time they have together and choose to optimize those moments emotionally.
Being in a LDR is no piece of cake… With a new location brings new friends and experiences and dare we say new temptations. When you are not physically close, you have to rely on and engage in other activities to establish and keep the relationship. But now, thanks to technology, long distance relationships are much more manageable. In fact technology will become your new best friend and great coconspirator in keeping the distance from becoming an emotional death sentence.
If you’re currently in an LDR, or if you’re about to embark upon one with your significant other, you’ll need a little patience, understanding, and a lot of creativity. Here are a few things you can do to keep things sexy and make the distance between you and your special someone seem less daunting:
Find Fun Ways to Stay Connected:
Have regular virtual dates: Our absolute best tech tip… Get Skype accounts! Connect with the push of a button and feel like your face to face even though you’re thousands of miles apart. A Skype account is free to download and use. Skype also lets you make free international calls to other Skype users, just make sure you’re connected to Wi-Fi. (Note: while the apps themselves are free… There may be carrier or data charges dependent upon your internet and phone service providers.)
Of course there is no substitute for physical presence, there are no virtual warm hugs or passionate kisses, and video cameras and phones can’t always capture laughter, smirks or sighs of frustration. But seeing one another virtually can tide you over until your next face to face visit.
Get Social and Let it Go Down in the DM:
Sexy text messages, pictures, or even video sent from your phone to theirs, keeps the spontaneity alive. Sexting shows your significant other how much you miss them, and provides fuel for your respective imaginations. FaceTime, WhatsApp and Snapchat are perfect for long-distance relationships because they work seamlessly across different devices and don’t charge per message. In addition to sending texts, the apps also allows you to send videos and pictures, so you’ll feel like you’re never missing a moment.
Have Movie Night:
Use the subscription services Netflix or Hulu and press “play” at the same time on video chat, or you can enter a Google Hangout and watch YouTube Live content together on the screen.
Connect in New & Exciting Ways:
No matter how far apart you are, sharing in sexual satisfaction together can make you feel much closer. Don’t let distance get in the way of your passion. Try some innovative couples play with app-enabled sex toys like the Kiiroo Couples Set 2, We-Vibe Rave or the BlueMotion Nex 2 to play with your lover from anywhere in the world. Bring the new bedroom accessory along for your next Skype date or send/receive tantalizing video of you or lover enjoying it during solo-play.
If he or she is sick, overnight a small care package. Send each other gifts from time to time especially at holidays or when there are other times to celebrate.
Plan Your Hookups:
Travel sites like Kayak or Hotwire can help in planning your trip and save money to boot— by allowing you to search multiple travel sites to find the cheapest flights, car rentals and hotels. Tip: Get a credit card that allows you to earn airline miles: In a commuter relationship, you’ll rack up points fast and quickly earn complimentary flights- saving your precious dollars to spend enjoying one another more during your visits.
Break the Monotony of Digital Contact:
All-digital contact can get monotonous so, go old school and Mail each other postcards and hand-written love letters. Nothing matches the sweetness of getting a hand-written letter in the mail. But, if letter writing is not your speed and you have an apple or android device, try Touchnote. Touchnote lets you send a postcard in 21st century style and helps turn your photos into postcards and lovely presents, straight from your phone, desktop or tablet.
Last but not least- Find Other Things to Do:
Ditch the hyper-connectivity some times and don’t obsess, don’t anxiously glance at your phone to see if your lover’s calling or texting. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family or binge-watch a TV series. Live your own best life!